Category Archives: transitions

All kinds: personal growth, sudden changes…

Reaching a mutual understanding

In the last few days I have begun suddenly to think that I was, instead of being too hasty, that I maybe I was reaching the point of ‘hanging on too long’ in regards to my elderly ailing beloved 15-1/2year old Sophie. I watched her yesterday – as I have been watching her closely over the past week or two. Asking her, sometimes out loud, “Is this too much, honey?” “Have you had enough?” But of course, no audible response came. And there was still detectible if subdued pleasure she experienced in my company.

So was my attention yesterday, while Sophie was occasionally moving from inside to outside, occasionally falling and being unable to pick herself up, and then she would wander a tiny portion of the yard – was she trying to decide whether the pain of crouching was worth the desire to defecate or urinate? Did she just collapse on her hind legs or did she mean to ‘take a break’ and sit a spell?

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So long away. Making my way home.

I am missing my involvement with my blog and the few lovely readers I once had. I miss the creative or expressive outlet in a zone with no rules or expectations. And as I begin to near the end of my graduate program, I look forward to once again dancing and playing here!

I was so happily surprised when I just followed a link to a blog from LinkedIn and ended up on a blog mentioning TimeThief!! AH! The familiar name calls me back, alighting my wish to master the technical aspects of blogging (she’s an über expert! on top of an awesome heart!). So I look forward to dabbling in the midst of my thesis, perhaps using it to fill the need for an occasional break.

More on the thesis topic later… Overcoming, living with yet above the effects of incest!


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Posted by on March 5, 2011 in transitions


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Not yet perhaps
But so tangible. 
So felt. Known. And powerful.
Perhaps not yet seen.
But the experience has begun.

How do we grow? 
In the soil of good company?
When we are allowed to send our taproots down into the very heart of who we think we may be?
It is, now I know,
When we are held, we are encouraged, we are simply and deeply confirmed.

I am no longer who I was.  I am, yes, also who I was.
But I am now made up of the reconstituted substance from what I used to be.
I am moving into a new template. A new form.
I am being pulled into that new mold
A mold, a template, a form so ancient as to predate the very cellular memory that fills it.


How can I catch up!!?? No chance.

I will refrain from any ‘apology’ for being away so long from my posts. After all, an apology rather presumes some dependence or anticipation for my loquaciousness. HA! Who was waiting on me!!!? SO… Let us move on!!

The point is…. HELLLO!!! I have missed YOU!
Okay, okay. So it may be true that I actually have no time to miss each of you individually (or even, for that matter, in small groups) but I think of you OFTEN. I think of experiences unshared and I want to get back on the bandwagon as soon as possible! It may or may not be with this note. Consider this note a Wave Hello, and a Kiss Blown!!

I am about to start my grad school traineeship. What does this mean? (Besides.. yeeee.. next step to making my next transition real!!) This means that the part-time corporate gig (32 hrs/wk) which has given me 3 day weekends (for ‘study’) may have to become even less. And that will mean less income, and MUCH higher prices for my benefits (everything X3!) But… Maybe I am really ready. Maybe I am ready to start draining my savings, so that I can feel engulfed in moving towards my next, my preferred, my ‘encore’ career! (My heart is there… moving away from my cubicle!! Moving towards licensure and my private practice.)

I have more to share. More that has become part of my daily re-calibration about who I am. I am still processing.
But since I am Waving Hello… I will write another entry with the latest self-discovery.

Blessings!! I would HUG each of you if I could!!



We are ‘Second Years’!!! kindasortaGRADiated

At my school, we all come together, from remote parts of the continent, as a cohort, once a month as a group that grows to be a solid, rich entity of its own right. We also consistently share campus with the year ahead of us… they are “the second years”. We look up to them. We want to be them. We wish we knew what they know! Socially we get to know them only a little, but I suppose that the important thing is that we get used to seeing them. They are a part of our experience. Their consistent presence serves as part of our ability to become fully present for OUR learning!

NOW… FALL 2008. We are officially “the Second years”!!! When we next set foot on campus, we will have star-struck, discomfitted eyes looking toward us. Looking for assurance that survival is possible. (I suspect that it is Month Two when that look must come into full bloom!!) They’ll be gazing at us … for answers, for guidance… and actually mostly just to be the familiar faces over time.

What a kick.

What a ‘kick’ to be a year along in my own journey. How amazing it is to be so … transformed since I first started classes.

This transformation is not at all about the recovery from betrayal I have lived & grown through. No, the ‘newness’ of my own self that I speak of has to do with an alchemical, soul-level, awakening-type experience I have experienced more profoundly with each and every weekend that I have shown up. Being with this Cohort, with this learning experience, with this intention….

“Behold, I am doing a new thing (in you),
now it springs forth,
do you not perceive it?”
Isa 43:19