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Category Archives: Expansions

How can I catch up!!?? No chance.

I will refrain from any ‘apology’ for being away so long from my posts. After all, an apology rather presumes some dependence or anticipation for my loquaciousness. HA! Who was waiting on me!!!? SO… Let us move on!!

The point is…. HELLLO!!! I have missed YOU!
Okay, okay. So it may be true that I actually have no time to miss each of you individually (or even, for that matter, in small groups) but I think of you OFTEN. I think of experiences unshared and I want to get back on the bandwagon as soon as possible! It may or may not be with this note. Consider this note a Wave Hello, and a Kiss Blown!!

I am about to start my grad school traineeship. What does this mean? (Besides.. yeeee.. next step to making my next transition real!!) This means that the part-time corporate gig (32 hrs/wk) which has given me 3 day weekends (for ‘study’) may have to become even less. And that will mean less income, and MUCH higher prices for my benefits (everything X3!) But… Maybe I am really ready. Maybe I am ready to start draining my savings, so that I can feel engulfed in moving towards my next, my preferred, my ‘encore’ career! (My heart is there… moving away from my cubicle!! Moving towards licensure and my private practice.)

I have more to share. More that has become part of my daily re-calibration about who I am. I am still processing.
But since I am Waving Hello… I will write another entry with the latest self-discovery.

Blessings!! I would HUG each of you if I could!!

tf

 

On the cusp.. Did you miss it?

What does living on the cusp of ‘my life has just begun’ really feel like?  Do many people even have a clue?  Even ever have a chance to notice? Probably not, because how rare it is to notice a beginning… at the beginning!?

Doesn’t this experience, of major life transition, really belong only to 14 yr olds entering high school?  No! matter of fact, they don’t even have a chance of noticing it.

But certainly to 18-19 year olds leaving the confines of predictable schooling and parental oversight, right?  Again.. how many 18 year olds notice their interior experience?
For this is wholly an interior experience!  Shoot… the frontal lobe isn’t even fully developed until 25, so it would be much later yet (if ever) to use the capacity for the complex cognitive layer that can handle “what do I think of what I think they think of me?”. (Hell. How many adults do that one???)

I don’t think it is till we’re about 29 that we first have a retrospective experience of looking back and thinking… Wow, that’s when my life really started… Or, …what a turning point. It was all different after that.

Yet, right now, fully conscious, I find myself living a cusp (liminal) experience.  I am still firmly (4/5ths?) grounded in where I have been up until recently (earnin’ my buck from the corporate gig… and thank god, for the time being, still doing so).  I also fully find that I am not only looking over the ridge at the next version of who I am, but that 1/5th (or more) of me is already moving into/resonating with/vibrating in/BEING that new reality that I am transitioning to!

If in all of this process I can do something uniquely valuable, I think it would be the ability to NOTICE (and report) THE LANDSCAPE as I progress. Notice and record.

I am finding out how valued this reflection is: of ‘what the landscape looks like’, ‘See, it’s safe! (Look, here I am!)’.  For all of those coming along behind me… Possibly younger.  Possibly newer at this. Charge on.  And if you can… Notice.  Notice what it is like to be YOU in this moment, in this experience!

namaste

 

Even when it’s good

How crazy is it that at the same time you can be realizing how blessed, lucky, fortunate, happy you are…. in that same moment or only a fraction of a second later the seemingly co-resident thoughts about how quite not perfect it is step into the light, fully grown?  How much there is still to worry about.  How much I could actually be blowing it, I just don’t know it yet. Blahdy blahddy blaaahhh

ICKK Already!!        Read the rest of this entry »

 

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