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Monthly Archives: September 2008

Liminal x 2

I am in between my in-betweens. Liminal-squared!
I have finished a quarter, I am waiting for the books for my next quarter (I am appropriately guilty for not ordering them sooner, and thus losing study/reading time.)

But let me share. The quote that follows is ubiquitously familiar. But still, it comes the closest to acknowledging a truth that my deepest self resonates to. (And to which I do not dare yet claim, for fear of living the label of ‘arrogance’!! This is where I meet Lucifer. My fear of being (of believing myself) arrogant… keeps me from so much… I dare not stretch… and … Lucifer wins.)

Marianne Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

Frightening.

But it always has been.
Now, at this time of my life, I feel a risk-taking freedom, a “so <the f’> what!”
Scary? Fine.
Could end up devastated? Yeah. So?

Will I know who I am any other way?

Just writing these words puts a gravity to a part of my psyche that I have refused to offer the full light of day.

The sun shines on in.

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Posted by on September 22, 2008 in Inner Life

 

Losta Post

Ecto just crashed, mid epiphany. freakin’ lost a great additional post!!

Protest!

Write in!!

WE WON’T GIVE IN!!

okay

  really now
In the meantime, do check on this (Quaylin?)!

 
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Posted by on September 20, 2008 in Inner Life

 

We are ‘Second Years’!!! kindasortaGRADiated

At my school, we all come together, from remote parts of the continent, as a cohort, once a month as a group that grows to be a solid, rich entity of its own right. We also consistently share campus with the year ahead of us… they are “the second years”. We look up to them. We want to be them. We wish we knew what they know! Socially we get to know them only a little, but I suppose that the important thing is that we get used to seeing them. They are a part of our experience. Their consistent presence serves as part of our ability to become fully present for OUR learning!

NOW… FALL 2008. We are officially “the Second years”!!! When we next set foot on campus, we will have star-struck, discomfitted eyes looking toward us. Looking for assurance that survival is possible. (I suspect that it is Month Two when that look must come into full bloom!!) They’ll be gazing at us … for answers, for guidance… and actually mostly just to be the familiar faces over time.

What a kick.

What a ‘kick’ to be a year along in my own journey. How amazing it is to be so … transformed since I first started classes.

This transformation is not at all about the recovery from betrayal I have lived & grown through. No, the ‘newness’ of my own self that I speak of has to do with an alchemical, soul-level, awakening-type experience I have experienced more profoundly with each and every weekend that I have shown up. Being with this Cohort, with this learning experience, with this intention….

“Behold, I am doing a new thing (in you),
now it springs forth,
do you not perceive it?”
Isa 43:19

full