I just have to get this post started – aspects of it keep occurring to me as I experience my new life.
Yes, maybe I’m being melodramatic with that ‘ new life’ phrase. BUT either I’m a walk-in and my former self is now off resting in some therapeutic nirvana, or the Universe has simply delivered the most precious, invaluable side-swiping gut-check wake-up call I’ve even known. This me? This ain’t the person of 2 months ago. Heck, this isn’t the person of 2 years ago!
I am not downplaying the recover that still continues!! The roller-coaster of feeling-stong-one-minute-bawling-my-eyes-out-the-next continues from time to time. Heck, it’s only been about 5 or 6 weeks since my life got brutally turned inside out!! But oh darlin… The shift!
I had to stop myself mid-sentence last week as I was reporting that I was starting to be grateful…. NO! Oh, my god! I am MORE grateful than not …!!.. that all of this has happened… in just the way it has happened! The brutality, the cruelty, the insanity (word not used loosely!), the senselessness. It has all brought me to the moment I live now!
I am now SAFER in the world: no DFB could ever hope to pull this wool over my eyes again without me smelling the pileoshit.
I am more AVAILABLE for a real relationship: I truly did not know I had the capacity to love so deeply, to trust so thoroughly, to open so ultimately. I KNOW this about me now!! THIS is Huge!!!
If this is a Walk-In… then I’m glad she’s here! (I’m also glad she hung onto my memories!!)
Must run off now… a group hike to Sauvie Island (on one hand doing what I’m calling “overwriting new memories” where DFB had previously installed himself!!) and… Following yesterday’s group wine tasting… LIFE IS GOOD!! and PEOPLE are GREAT!!
Blessings and Healings in Just the Right Way… to you all!! Thanks for visiting!