Having the corpse of someone you loved deeply — suddenly and unexpectedly held up for you to view!! AND imagine that this is be the sole means of being told about their death.
…..Shock, utterly numb, speechless (for the lack of sense in it all) and disbelieving or uncomprehending. All of this is thick enough to cut.
THIS… is how I was presented with the “we are over” ‘conversation’. The corpse was the ‘Us’ of us. It was already done. I had no input. There was no inquiry (what if I need xxx?, can we adjust to doing nnnn? are you interested in providing me with yyy?) NO opportunity for me to engage in “our relationship”. ‘Us’ was in fact already eviscerated;, HUNG, dead and on view as the calling card of ‘oh, by the way, this is what’s true now’.
After numb and dumb, (and after a horrid night and then dropping him silently off at the airport at 6am) of course I did get to… the anger! Can I at least be grateful that anger had a direction – at the one who delivered the news – who held up the decayed body as the casual and matter of fact statement of the new state of affairs? It helps that he is also the butcher. He never, upon changes in his heart, offered a hint. No invitation to a discussion, possibility… It was ALREADY DONE! And after so much!
SO – The anger has a direction. Even if the anger is confused, it knows its target: The one who killed the beloved (the “us”) weeks before, yet who carried on in Oscar-worthy manner in the stunningly effective deception that all was well. From his behavior and words(!), nothing was a bit amiss, nothing needed any attention, or tending.
Wow. I don’t even know where to start. If I even think to attempt to describe the whole situation, this could be a new War&Peace.
Okay… I’m no writer. But I have a visceral response to life that I’m trying to capture, to describe, to present. The previous is an attempt to draw the picture, the analogy of what being suddenly, and deceptively, and with a false pout, being broken up with is like. It was: with no reason, no warning, and no conscience. The man could NOT have a conscience and do what he did. And this is (as I SEE the pattern) at least the third time he has committed this pattern.
Sociopathology is described in the book “The Sociopath Next Door”. See link. Frightening… and sobering.
But if you need to see the face of the 1 in 25 of us, in NYC and Queens, this is one for them… This one is in your neighborhood:
THIS is Will Creed. GOD! I actually loved him. (So’s you know my conflicting interest in presenting this.) NOW… Had he handled the break up like a HUMAN – even a clumbsy one, I would never do this. But hey, YOU.. who have taken him on next… PLEASE BE AWARE!!!! BE CAREFUL. (It may be ecstatic and “perfect” for a while… he will FLATTER and he will evoke your PITY….) BUT.. the Clock Is Ticking. SURPRISINGLY the truth is….He is a SOCIOPATH. He has NO EMPATHY!! Please… BEWARE!
Not only will you eventually be replaced. He will HARM you in doing so… simply because it will be the ‘easier out’ for him, and all because he has NO CONSCIENCE. NO EMPATHY.
READ THIS for what to watch out for especially on the web!
Here is where he “works” and harvests.