Okay, so I am not dumbstruck, awestruck all the time. Though.. often!
No, I am still looking at, dealing with the day to day issues of transitions. I have a job, albeit part-time, that keeps paying me. And my gosh, there is the usual fare of navigating career adjustments (shhh: don’t let my employer hear me say “career change”), but now there is this oppressive issue of health care to stare down! (Innit great to be ana Merican?)
But I have to tell you, that regardless of the reasons that others may be finding for digging in (“because of the economy”), holding back (“not the right time”), for keeping what you have, keeping the income, keeping the savings (“what horrors might happen next”)… I happen to find myself more inspired, more invigorated, more excited about this next stage of my life… So much so that NOTHING seems appropriate except to step out boldly and claim this new life!
I wish I could find a way to pull every last individual member of my cohort directly into my heart. I want them to know how much I love them, but I also so want them to know how they have become part of the fabric of my being. The beauties, the characters, the warm and gentle men, the women of depth and strength…. I cannot find the words to suffice. I love them. And they are so much a part of who I have become, who I am becoming. How do you return THAT favor?
I thank God for my time with them!
Wings…
visible?
Not yet perhaps
But so tangible.
So felt. Known. And powerful.
Perhaps not yet seen.
But the experience has begun.
How do we grow?
In the soil of good company?
When we are allowed to send our taproots down into the very heart of who we think we may be?
It is, now I know,
When we are held, we are encouraged, we are simply and deeply confirmed.
I am no longer who I was. I am, yes, also who I was.
But I am now made up of the reconstituted substance from what I used to be.
I am moving into a new template. A new form.
I am being pulled into that new mold
A mold, a template, a form so ancient as to predate the very cellular memory that fills it.
And thank you Mr. former Vice President for what you have given us. AND what you have either learned from or taught “Ayatollah” Khamenei.
I will refrain from any ‘apology’ for being away so long from my posts. After all, an apology rather presumes some dependence or anticipation for my loquaciousness. HA! Who was waiting on me!!!? SO… Let us move on!!
The point is…. HELLLO!!! I have missed YOU!
Okay, okay. So it may be true that I actually have no time to miss each of you individually (or even, for that matter, in small groups) but I think of you OFTEN. I think of experiences unshared and I want to get back on the bandwagon as soon as possible! It may or may not be with this note. Consider this note a Wave Hello, and a Kiss Blown!!
I am about to start my grad school traineeship. What does this mean? (Besides.. yeeee.. next step to making my next transition real!!) This means that the part-time corporate gig (32 hrs/wk) which has given me 3 day weekends (for ’study’) may have to become even less. And that will mean less income, and MUCH higher prices for my benefits (everything X3!) But… Maybe I am really ready. Maybe I am ready to start draining my savings, so that I can feel engulfed in moving towards my next, my preferred, my ‘encore’ career! (My heart is there… moving away from my cubicle!! Moving towards licensure and my private practice.)
I have more to share. More that has become part of my daily re-calibration about who I am. I am still processing.
But since I am Waving Hello… I will write another entry with the latest self-discovery.
Blessings!! I would HUG each of you if I could!!
tf
Swine Flu Info
(This, above, is supposed to be a widget. I may be gettin’ a degree, but apparently that doesn’t help me with blog-like communications! :} )
So I find this informative: http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/
Stay healthy, all! Warsh yer hands.
Can you imagine trying to describe the taste of banana to someone? Can you imagine the substitutes that will be provided and how they will so sorely lack the true essence of banana.
Whether it is a banana – straight! Pealing it is a luxurious event!
Or – Banana PIE!! OMG. To DIE for!
Or – banana bread. hmmmm.
I could go on.
I am so very saddened by the hardly-reported, or much reported (if you are paying attention) demise of our beloved yellow fruit. Can organic version save us?? MAYBE SO. I pray.
I just LOVE bananas!!
